Looking out toward the Phi Phis in Thailand.
After over seven months of traveling, Alex and I recently passed the “halfway point” of our adventure (Technically our journey will last from July 2, 2014 through August 2, 2015, but who’s counting?). We just arrived in India after a week relaxing on the beach in Krabi, Thailand and will soon head to South Africa, then Europe and finally back to Japan, returning to New York via San Francisco. Our “vacation from our vacation” in Thailand has really given us a chance to press pause and reflect on the past half-year. What follows are some of my reflections, realizations and opinions after spending time in over 15 countries these past few months. I’m no travel expert or philosopher, but I hope that I can provide a little insight into our adventure – the good and the bad.
One of the first things I understood was that that traveling with a partner for an extended period of time requires a great partner. It was well after we started planning that Alex and I realized we really hadn’t done much traveling together – Mexico, Puerto Rico, California and one big trip to Greece and Turkey were pretty much it. It never occurred to us that traveling together would be any different than living together, and honestly, it isn’t. Only after people continuously asked how we handled being together 24/7 did we realize that it is somewhat of a unique situation for most newlyweds. While our setup is unorthodox, the only thing we really seem to lack is the standard “how was your day?” conversation – because we just spent the day, like every day, together. Sure, there are times where we may find ourselves sitting next to each other quietly, but these times aren’t so different from prior moments spent on the couch in our New York apartment. We still talk about the same things – our friends and family, current events, what books we are reading, where to eat and how to spend the day and, now, the sights we are exploring. We have silly disagreements like anyone else but truthfully, we travel well as a team. We have both bended and adapted to each of our respective travel strengths and I can’t imagine traveling the world with anyone else.
Alex and I have remarkably similar worldviews and were both quick to understand that we take a lot for granted. As former residents of one of the greatest cities in the world, we were always acutely aware of our advantages and traveling has only reinforced this stance. Access to education, clean drinking water, electricity, garbage removal, paved roads, functioning political systems and many other modern conveniences simply don’t exist everywhere. It’s one thing to be aware of these tragedies and another to live alongside the people struggling with these realities every day. Every time we find ourselves frustrated when the internet cuts out or a haggler tries to sell us something we try to remember how minor these inconveniences truly are. Even more striking is that many of the people we interact with aren’t miserable, as we might have previously thought; they are simply living life the only way they know.
The lives of the people we meet sometimes seem very different but it is obvious that each person is pursuing a different path to obtaining happiness. Parents want to be able to feed and clothe their children, workers want to be able to make a living and everyone wants to feel connected to other people. We have met so many kind strangers in every place we have visited, really highlighting the importance of our relationships with others.
Throughout our travels, we’ve met people from all over the world from backpackers to elderly adventurers – each of whom does things a little differently. Some are looking to party, others hoping to make lifetime connections, most on shorter-term vacations, but all with a desire to see a little piece of the world. We definitely have a greater respect for those that take time to travel and feel strongly that everyone should try to see as much of the world as possible.
Having said that, living the nomadic lifestyle has been amazing but traveling is just one goal of many for us. Alex and I are having an incredible time together and neither of us would trade this experience for anything; however, we know that we both ultimately seek more from life. We still want to have inspiring careers, a family of our own, a home and most importantly – closer proximity to the people we love. The end of our journey will ultimately be a very bittersweet time for us.
Beyond the lessons we have learned, and are continuing to learn, we certainly miss many aspects of our former lives. Connecting with others also serves to remind us how much we miss our friends and family. We live vicariously through social media, emails and the occasional whatsapp message but it’s never enough. Getting an email is like being away at summer camp and receiving a package – connection with the outside world! I miss phone calls, parties, holidays with family and, perhaps most of all, the casual catch up or group dinner.
Speaking of food, there are so many meals I crave while away from home. We have definitely sought out local cuisine and tried many delicious dishes, but I miss things we just can’t get regularly outside of the US: bagels, turkey sandwiches, salads, diet coke and fresh vegetables (particularly baby carrots). Thai food is awesome but having curry on the beach in 90 degree heat is not always what our bodies crave. Staying fit was not initially very high on our priority list, but the lack of healthy food options and a predictable exercise routine has been a difficult adjustment. Sure, we walk and hike everywhere and occasionally our hotel will have a gym available, but it’s just not the same as sweating through an hour-long Barre or Zumba class. I’ve recently been trying to run more frequently but I am not a born runner so it requires a lot of discipline, not to mention an observant eye (weaving through rickshaws, scooters and tuk-tuks who don’t obey traffic laws makes running extra challenging!).
While we do sometimes miss creature comforts such as favorite meals, exercise classes and a place to call home, I think we have been surprised at how infrequently we feel truly homesick. We are constantly amazed by our surroundings and eager to explore new places. That pull to home only really pops up when we are already feeling a little vulnerable, sick or frustrated and – so far – passes just as quickly.
We have gotten so much better at balancing our needs and wants and each day continues to be a chance to learn and grow. Our recent time relaxing by the beach has been a great recharge and we have resolved to take more “us time” going forward. We’ve seen and done a lot over the past seven months but we are still excited for what lies ahead!